May 7, 2008...8:53 pm
The Cheater
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I used to have an old high school friend. Over the years we knew each other, we had this unofficial on and off relationship. Our friendship ventured into our adulthood and the on again seemed to be more frequent than the off again. Marriage talk was thrown about-though, nothing for the immediate future. More along the lines of if we were both single at X age, perhaps that’s a sign that we should finally get serious. Despite the fact that we never made anything official, I had strong feelings for him.
Then he devastated me by announcing his engagement to a girl he had only just met. A few months before the wedding we ended our friendship quite suddenly and have not spoken to each other sense.
It’s been several years but evidently I’m not quite-accepting of the way things went. The other night I found myself in the middle of a very vivid dream about my former friend. A mutual friend called me one day to inform me that our friend was having marital problems and it seemed as though a divorce was in the midst. I called the former friend, with the intentions of offering my condolences and to once again offer my friendship.
We made plans to get together. Our meeting didn’t go quite as expected and instead of a friendly conversation at a restaurant we found ourselves along together (if you catch my drift). We both knew it was wrong, as my friend was still married.
I’m not sure what to make of the dream. Normally I’m not one to read into my dreams and they normally fade away within a few hours, but this one has stuck with me very vividly for days. I thought about contacting one of our old mutual friends, to see if there was any validity to my dream regarding his marriage, but I felt weird about it. Aside from feeling weird, the dream goes against the morals I have for myself.
Guess it’s just one more thing to ponder.
13 Comments
May 7, 2008 at 10:58 pm
The official chatter is that dreams are our sub-conscious trying to tell us something. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I believe. I have had dreams come true, but I have had thousands more that didn’t (thank God!) I have learned from a dream or two, but mostly I am baffled.
May 8, 2008 at 7:06 am
To be honest, some say that when we dream of people, we dream more of what they represent to us than of them as people. In that case, your dream sounds more about lost chances of love, about a desire for a relationship, than necessarily about him.
Puss
May 8, 2008 at 9:43 am
it’s probably something simple as something you subconsciously saw or heard during the day took you back to how you felt then and it manifested itself in a dream.
you might just be sexually frustrated of course i suppose
if you’re anything like me, i’d wait a few days for the affects of the dream to leave you before making any bold decisions.
May 8, 2008 at 9:45 am
thats a very difficult situation. I think you need to assess your true motives for wanting to reconnect with this former friend…and then see how you feel about initiating any contact.
May 8, 2008 at 11:44 am
It sounds to me like you still have feelings for him. The most fundamental question, however, is does he still have feelings for you. If not, then you must let your feelings for him whether away not matter how much it hurts.
May 8, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I believe the theory that our dreams reflect our subconscious dreams, fears and desires. BUT here are two things to remember: 1) dreams tend to be symbolic and not literal, so you don’t know what this dream may have really meant and 2) desires are normal. If you still have feelings for him … so what? God gave us free will. Or, if you prefer, we no longer have tails but do have opposing thumbs, so we’re highly evolved and can CHOOSE whether to act on our desires. It’s easy to not sleep with unattractive married men. I think it’s more virtuous to stick to your morals and resist a guy who’s hot.
May 8, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I think you still have feelings for him. It wouldn’t hurt to put some feelers out to see if he’s still married.
May 8, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Oooh, very interesting. Hmmm, I think either you were remote viewing your future (doubtful) or your subcontious has taken something from your waking hours and connected it to this man. I hope you find out what he’s up to and give us all the update ;-0 but ya, maybe through a mutual friend.
And hey, I came by to say WHOOOHOOOO!!! You got a song right over at my Rockin’! We’ll be playing until tomorrow night, so if you have time come back over and try for a few more!
May 8, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I HOPE YOU TWO CAN GET TOGETHER ONE DAY SOON. I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.
May 9, 2008 at 1:23 am
I would have to agree with most of the comments above me that perhaps you still have feelings for him and you may even wish he was going to leave his wife which makes you feel guilty for even thinking it. I have had very similar dreams…that’s how I interpreted them for me
May 9, 2008 at 6:25 am
dreams about old flames.. wow.. that is a tough one.. I would wait a few days and think about possibly contacting that person to see if your dream has any validity.. why wouldn’t either of you just say “hey want to go out officially”? Hope things work out..hugs..
May 9, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Dreams could mean a variety of things but one needs to look at whole picture of the dream.
No it doesn’t mean her is leaving his wife.
I’m one who believes in dream and your subconscious is trying to tell you something. If your having dreams one after anther for let say last three night try to remember detail and check out http://www.dreammoods.com they might be help to shed some light on it.
May 9, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I’m pretty sure I remember a post you put up about this guy and his wedding..
I’m not going to lecture you and obviously a dream is not the same as reality (not by a long shot) but you know, it doesn’t matter if you had “dibs” on him. While he’s married, he’s off limits, trouble with his wife or not.
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